STOP Giving a P**P
This short read covers some benefits and steps you can follow to stop seeking approval and free yourself from all the negative emotions that come along with giving too many shits.
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Am I happy?
I may not be Mr Smiley, frolicking carefree on cloud nine, but I am pretty good. A small miracle, considering I just got dumped, had to move back in with mum and am scraping around for work, whilst also struggling with a long-term chronic stomach pain that can make me aloof and crabby.
However, though I may not smile every second of the day, I do manage to find fun in the little things.
A ginger biscuit and cup of tea.
A silly joke.
A well timed bum squeak.
People that don’t really know me think I am simply immature, but I have learned to stop seeking the approval of others and spend more time with people who allow me to be myself. Besides, the people that just see my actions as immature are quite clearly poo-poo heads.
Speaking of which.
Imagine the energy we'd have ONLY giving a poop about the things that make a difference in our lives.
The point is most of us struggle throughout our lives by giving too many shits, worrying far too much about opinion, circumstance and reputation. That’s not to say we should walk around with a two finger salute to all and sundry.
No.
‘Non-shit-ance’ isn’t about apathy, it’s about embracing your inner oddity. Letting other people’s excess faecal matter slide off you without a care, to solidify your identity, from diarrhoea to solid stool. A process that probably happens to some degree as you grow older. That leap of faith or lack of f**ks that make you buy crocs shoes, which you wear with colourful socks and gaudy frocks.
YES!
If you have bought crocs, you have truly stopped caring about how utterly ridiculous you look and have embraced the proprietary closed-cell resin, ‘Croslite’. That soft, comfortable, lightweight, non-marking and odour-resistant foam footwear.
You don’t give a crap that your feet now look hideously cartoonish…
And that’s a good thing.
Here are seven more.
1. Cortisol Reduction and Stress Mitigation
According to many clever Doctors & Psychologists, people who exhibit a more laid-back attitude experience a significant reduction in cortisol levels, a key stress hormone. This reduction does not only contribute to a calmer demeanour but also plays a pivotal role in overall stress mitigation and croc wearing.
2. Neuroscientific Correlation with Improved Mental Health
Neuroscientific research underscores the link between an unburdened mindset and improved mental health. Neuroimaging studies reveal that individuals who practice selective indifference exhibit enhanced neural resilience against stressors, resulting in improved psychological well-being and multiple pairs of crocs.
3. Efficiency Boost and Cognitive Load Management
Lots of research posits that the ability to prioritise concerns is directly linked to increased efficiency. By not sweating the crocs, individuals can better manage their cognitive load, leading to improved decision-making and task performance.
4. Psychological Authenticity and Self-Expression
A comprehensive study published in Science Direct highlights the positive correlation between a carefree attitude and authentic self-expression. Liberating oneself from societal expectations fosters psychological authenticity, enabling individuals to express their true selves more freely in their crocs.
5. Resilience Building Through Cognitive Behavioral Mechanisms
A study published in the National Library of Medicine delves into the cognitive behavioural mechanisms that can be associated with not caring about the fact that your crocs make you look absurd. The findings suggest that a selective focus on important aspects of life enhances adaptive coping strategies, thereby contributing to increased resilience in the face of adversity.
6. Freedom of Choice and Autonomy
Research also emphasises the connection between a carefree mindset and enhanced autonomy. Choosing what to care about allows individuals greater freedom in decision-making, promoting a sense of control and self-determination.
7. Quality of Social Connections and Emotional Well-being
Social Psychological and Personality Science provides a variety of research on the impact of a carefree attitude on social relationships. Individuals who prioritise meaningful connections over trivial concerns report higher levels of emotional well-being and satisfaction in their interpersonal relationships. Even if all their friend’s left them. Coz of the crocs.
BUT
How do you start not giving a poop?
Well let’s start with a strategy for catching yourself seeking unnecessary approval, which we’ll call the ”Catch Yourself Seeking Unnecessary Approval of Your Crocs” strategy.
THE METHOD
STEP 1: Make a list of people/places/things you spend the most time with.
STEP 2: Order them in terms of how much you care about them.
STEP 3: Order them in terms of how much approval you seek from them.
STEP 4: Order them in terms of who you might shoot first if you had to?
STEP 5: Do some sort of calculation to determine how many shits you should give about each person? You spend lots of time with a person + care about them lots + wouldn’t shoot them first = Give a big shit about this person. Is your boss worth the amount of shits you give?
STEP 6: *Laminate it.
(* Disclaimer - do not display your laminated list at your workplace).
Hopefully this visual will help clarify who, what, where and when, are really important to you, allowing you to walk through life in your over-priced comfy foam shoes. Approval from others is fleeting and subjective. What one person admires, another may not understand. By placing too much importance on external validation, you risk compromising your own values and unique qualities. Embrace your quirks, passions, and idiosyncrasies, for these are the elements that make you one-of-a-kind. The more you stay true to yourself, the more you attract people who appreciate you for who you are, not who they want you to be.
In the end, the only approval that truly matters is your own. Be kind to yourself, acknowledge your strengths, and learn from your mistakes. The journey towards self-approval may take time, but the rewards of living authentically and unapologetically are immeasurable, or about 30 quid depending on what crocs you end up buying.
Thanks for reading,
Dan ❤️
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Bibliography:
Al-Khouja , M. (2022) Self-expression can be authentic or inauthentic, with differential outcomes for well-being: Development of the authentic and inauthentic expression scale (AIES), Science Direct . Available at: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0092656622000046#: (Accessed: 18 February 2024).
Kunzler, A. (2017). Psychological interventions for resilience enhancement in adults. [Online]. National Library of Medicine. Available at: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6464102/ [Accessed 30 January 2024].